why am i so afraid all the time ?

afraid of the crowd, afraid of being left alone

afraid of growing up, afraid of being a child

afraid of love, afraid of apathy

afraid of strangers, afraid of aquaintance

afraid of the dark, afraid of standing in the light

afraid of talking, afraid of reticency

afraid of choosing, afraid of not choosing

afraid of doing, afraid of not doing

afraid of words, afraid of voices

afraid of being myself, afraid of not being myself

afraid that if i choose this, will i miss the others?
maybe i was making the wrong choice

life is not a game, you cannot start over, even if you’ve made the wrong choice, your life is already done, what’s gone is gone

so what? what’s worse?
wasting time is so frightening?

you re just an ordinary, like everyone else, human being, why is your time so precious? that it cannot wasted for even one time, besides, your time has already been wasted , we don need to remind you that, do we?

so, enough self consolation, don do anything too much, including keep telling yourself don do this, cause you’ll get sick

sometimes you don't need to think too much, right?

……every time after me doing this, i hate myself.
really , enough of me
so why are you writing this stuff, will you stop


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