why am i so afraid all the time ？
afraid of the crowd, afraid of being left alone
afraid of growing up, afraid of being a child
afraid of love, afraid of apathy
afraid of strangers, afraid of aquaintance
afraid of the dark, afraid of standing in the light
afraid of talking, afraid of reticency
afraid of choosing, afraid of not choosing
afraid of doing, afraid of not doing
afraid of words, afraid of voices
afraid of being myself, afraid of not being myself
afraid that if i choose this, will i miss the others?
maybe i was making the wrong choice
life is not a game, you cannot start over, even if you’ve made the wrong choice, your life is already done, what’s gone is gone
so what? what’s worse?
wasting time is so frightening?
you re just an ordinary, like everyone else, human being, why is your time so precious? that it cannot be wasted for even one time, besides, your time has already been wasted , we don need to remind you that, do we?
so, enough self consolation, don do anything too much, including keep telling yourself don do this, cause you’ll get sick
sometimes you don't need to think too much, right?
……every time after me doing this, i hate myself.
really , enough of me
so why are you writing this stuff, will you stop